Based on Daisy Buchanan and Jay Gatzby from the Great Gatzby by Scott Fitzgerald
This diary entry reflects my understanding of how Daisy Buchanan came to realize the real meaning of love. It could be considered that this writing assignment provided me with the chance to dig deeper and become more involved in seeing through what she feels more than what she hopes to show as dictated in the novel. This way, I had to see to it that writers such as Scot Fitzgerald would never spell out everything in relation to the way they want their readers to understand the plots of their story. Relatively, this fact guided me into realizing that my understanding of the story ought to be deeper and more informed on the history that binds the characters together.
Tom and Jay are two very different men who are both a part of Daisy’s life. Nevertheless, not both of them have the same level of importance to the young lady; and yet she needed to make a choice of who to go with, who to love and who to spend her life with. This part of the novel shows why people tend to stay with individuals who they may not love, but they intend to share their lives with because of what the society thinks. These instances push for the recognition of love as somewhat sacrificial. Being able to seek its real meaning then would only be realized is courageous enough to lose so much for the sake of realizing real love.
IN connection with the socio-cultural situation when the novel was written, this aspect of the story presents how Fitzgerald tries to create a depiction on how important social status was during the said era. Relatively, it is because of such importance that living and loving become so collaboratively viewed as one, hence pushing people to choose to sacrifice one for the other. Social recognition was an important aspect of living then and now. Nevertheless, people today have more freedom in choosing what they want without the need to seek the approval of others. However, there are still those who would choose to suffer inside than to hope to live more satisfying lives amidst the possible repercussion from the society that they may receive. This diary entry then intends to reflect both the confusion and the explanation behind Daisy’s decision on who she would live her life with in the end.
What do I do? I’m torn between two people who I feel so differently about and yet must choose from. Jay, my love, still remains as good looking as he is. Seemingly, he has become the talk of the town, both negative and positive at that. People believe that he is working with the Mafia and his reputation is not so good either. I know what he has gone through especially in knowing that I am now married to Tom is really hard to understand. Nevertheless, this situation I am in is what I am already known for. I am Mrs. Tom. However, do I really want to be Mrs. Tom forever? Or the better question would be, do I even have a choice?
I still remember the days that Jay and I spent together before he was called to serve in the army. Everything was clear, we had our eyes towards the future, we wanted so much and I was so vulnerable then. Knowing that he has to go and become a member of the army scared me so much. I did not know what to feel or how to react that time. All I knew is that I did not want him to go… I did not want to lose him. But did he give me any choice then? How dare he come back now that I am already at a stable place?! Why does he need to show up and be the person I want so much but I cannot have?! What is happening with me?
I admit, I am feeling a little bit guilty. Tom is my husband. And yet, even though we have been together for years now, I feel that Jay still fills a large void in my heart.
I am in a terrible situation right now. Jay is dead. He was shot by George and I am in such a nutshell. The night I was driving, I accidentally hit Myrtle Wilson. I ran, there was nothing else I could do. The police are already forwarding the investigation and I just hope Nick would not tell them anything if he does know anything at all.
What would Tom do when he realizes what I did? What would Nick do if he does know what happened?
I feel like my life is coming to an end. It was an accident, I was not thinking properly. I did not mean to kill him and run away… but I panicked. I wish Jay was still here. Perhaps he could calm me down. Perhaps he could bring about sanity in me. I still cannot understand why for all the people I have been with, why do I need to be in the middle of Tom and Jay and make such stupid decisions. It was stupid not to wait for Jay and it was much more stupid to run with him and hope that everything would be okay after marrying Tom. Am I a mere victim of my cowardly love for Jay? I guess I’ll never know. I just hope everything would end fairly. As of now, all I know is that I am hurting so much for Jay’s death and I am praying so hard that Nick would have a heart to protect me from a long time of social discrimination because of what I did.
I need to keep myself together, I am so confused. But I have to be strong enough to face what I have done. I cannot keep on lying, I cannot keep on living under the shadow of an accident that should have never happened. I was never courageous in making sure that my love for Jay becomes realized, I have to be courageous now to face my life. Perhaps it is the only way for me to be free from all my miseries and self-disappointments.
Fitzgerald, F., S., 1926. The Great Gatsby. 4th edt. London: Penguin Classics.